"So, my parents have the bouge-iest dog ever, and treat it as such. One day, while buying the most asininely over priced designer dog food known to man, my mom is given a few sample treats, one of which happens to be an individually wrapped mini sausage thing.
Months go by, and this lone sausage snack migrates to the back of my parents fridge. My mom has been too busy to buy groceries, and my dad is...hungry. He eats what he thinks is something fancy, probably from Vincenzo's, and goes about his day, thinking only to himself "whoa, that was really salty". No one would have noticed anything, had he not left the empty wrapper on the counter.
To borrow a line from Shit My Dad Says,
"So what I ate dog food. I ate fucking dog food and it was great, I WILL NOT BE SHAMED BY THIS!"
The end."
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